On-street Grooming of children for Child Sexual Exploitation (CSE) has been reported in the mainstream media for some time. The Rotherham scandal made national news and has resulted in several convictions. The landmark trial of a large grooming gang in Rochdale was made into a TV drama. There have also been Police investigations in Bradford, Sheffield, Oxford and many other cities. These have led to hundreds of convictions for offences such as rape, conspiracy to commit rape, sexual activity with a child, facilitating child prostitution and trafficking for sexual exploitation. 

I contacted Ella, (not her real name) who is a Grooming Gang survivor who now gives Grooming Gang Awareness talks to students and professionals. She told me her story and her reasons for speaking out. She wishes to remain anonymous because her abusers still walk free.

Ella was groomed twice. She was just 14 when she was first groomed by a man who was in his 30's, who was a customer at her place of work where she had a Saturday job.

She got to know the man over several months and says he was "polite and charming". He gained her trust. He had a car and a house. He was already in an adult relationship but he hid that fact from Ella. He bought Ella gifts and the 14 year old developed a crush on him. He started to drive her out to remote places where nobody would see them together. She says she doesn't remember their first kiss, but she does remember the first time he exposed himself to her. She says "I was shocked, it hadn't crossed my mind that he might do that. He gradually persuaded me to do more and more things. After a few months of dating, he took me back to his house. I lost my virginity to him, in his bed".

She reflects "It was an inappropriate relationship but he never hurt me or hit me. My parents found out and they were naturally concerned. My Dad went to speak to him, but he just told my Dad we were in love. I told them I was happy, but looking back I wish an adult had done something to stop it. The relationship lasted several months. Eventually I realised that I wasn’t mature enough for an adult sexual relationship, because I was only 15. So I ended it, and a couple of years later we moved away".

But sadly that’s when things turned much worse.

Within a week of moving to a new town in Yorkshire, she was groomed again. She was still a teenager, and again, he was in his 30's. She had been clothes shopping in town, and was walking home alone when the man started talking to her. It was the middle of the day.  At first she wasn't interested but says he was very persuasive. "He wore nice clothes and smiled a lot. He complimented me saying I had nice eyes. I was flattered I suppose. I was single and wanted a boyfriend”.

The man was a Pakistani Muslim.

They started dating and he would pick her up two or three times a week. At first he seemed friendly and became her boyfriend. He was funny and generous and she fell in love with him. Ella says "he then became more controlling and abusive, telling me what to wear and where I could or couldn't go. I was a good girl so I tried to keep him happy by doing what he wanted. It was very much an adult-child relationship. He had all the power.”

She later found out that he had other girlfriends at the same time and says she was stunned to hear he didn't believe in monogamy. He became jealous, violent and aggressive with her. Although initially the sex had been consensual, within a couple of months it was “just rapes”. She told me that there were "no more meals out or gifts. He beat me really badly, sometimes for hours at a time, always ending with rape.. I wanted it to end but he wouldn't let me go. I couldn't stop it. He was bigger and stronger than me - he sat on me and pinned me down, strangling and suffocating me until I felt like I was dying. He pulled my hair out, hit me to the ground, kicked me and stamped on me. He threatened to kill my parents if they tried to stop me seeing him, so I kept it secret from them. He warned me things would get worse if I went to the police. All the time I was still going to lessons and doing my exams, while my teachers had no idea what was happening to me. Under my clothes I was constantly covered in bruises. This went on for a year".

He then starting introducing her to his friends in neighbouring towns and cities. "They were all Pakistani Muslim men" Ella told me, "They instantly hated me - they called me a fucking Gori (which I was told means white trash), white bitch and white slag, over and over. I was very afraid of them. My perpetrator started to take me to different flats and houses to be, what he called ‘gang raped’; sometimes by two men, sometimes more. I desperately tried to get out of it. The whole idea was unbearable. I was so gutted that the man I had trusted was doing this to me. I couldn't believe that he knew so many evil people. I felt deeply betrayed".

Ella, even today still finds it difficult to reveal the details of what these men did to her, she says "I'd rather not say the details but he put me through a lot of pain. It was disgusting. It makes me angry to think about it. They threatened me with kidnap and gang rape when I tried to escape. They had weapons. I fought and tried to talk them out of it".

Eventually the Police told Ella's parents to move her away. They sent her to her Aunt’s and they were forced to sell their home. 

Ella says she no longer feels threatened by the gang because she has the support of a partner and family who know what went on, and she hasn't seen the men for some time. She says she is older and wiser now. The abuse has impacted her life in many ways. Although she has never attempted to commit suicide she does still have PTSD, nightmares and panic attacks sometimes.

Her main abuser was arrested a couple of times, when he hurt her particularly badly, but was always released without charge. Ella feels the Police failed her badly "like many other victims around that time".

She says most Police officers she met at the time were unsupportive and unsympathetic (although a couple have since apologised for the forces failings). "They didn't even do basic investigations or photograph my injuries" she says, "At one point I was hospitalised, so in my view they were incompetent. There could have been evidence from witnesses and phone records, but they didn't even try to collect it. They just weren't interested." 

She went on to add "some Police just seemed to do the bare minimum and make excuses for not doing any more. What makes me most angry is knowing that it turns out there were so many victims similar to me, some having to endure much worse, and yet still the Police didn’t try to warn people, or try to stop the perpetrators”.

After recently re-reporting her abuse, the Investigators told Ella that there is insufficient evidence, so none of her attackers have been prosecuted, despite the ‘criminal injuries compensation authority’ being satisfied with the amount of evidence and awarding her compensation earlier this year. 

Ella now finds the strength to speak out to raise awareness on the issue. 

She says "I'm one of the 99% of victims who won’t see justice in the courts. It’s horrible knowing that they got away with it, especially as we know that they did it to so many other girls too.

“It’s only recently that the public has become aware of the scale and severity of this problem. Of course all types of Child Sexual Exploitation are bad, but some are really, really bad. My first grooming experience was what they call an ‘inappropriate relationship’ and it was fairly mild. He was Irish Catholic, and it wasn’t driven by racial or religious hate. (He had a Lolita fantasy). But my second experience with a Pakistani Muslim ‘Grooming Gang’ was horrific and especially sinister. Through listening to other survivors, I realised that the ideology and the ways of victim-blaming haven’t changed over the past 20 years. Although the majority of CSE perpetrators in the UK are white, Grooming Gang perpetrators are 75-95% Pakistani Muslim. 

Gang groomers still use the same reasons to justify what they do… For example, saying that all white girls are slags, and that if they dress immodestly they deserve rape as punishment. (‘Immodestly’ means dressing like a normal Western teenager, in jeans and trainers). This is so wrong. They blame Parents, teachers, social services, the children; anyone except themselves. With phones, internet, social media, porn, sexting and gaming, things are getting even worse. Cultural issues including ideas about Honour, loyalty and forced marriage also play a part. My perpetrator also used quotes from the Koran as he beat and raped me. I’m not saying this to stir up hate. I’m saying it because it’s important that we speak about these things so that we can bring them into the light and address them.

I strongly believe that Young People need educating about the risks of becoming a victim of Child Sexual Exploitation.  And I believe that boys need educating about risks of being drawn into gang crime, drug dealing, and sexual offending too. With ‘Grooming Gang Awareness’, boys can be educated about the laws around consent, rape, coercion, trafficking and prostitution of children. They can be made aware of the ways that a gang will groom or coerce them into getting involved and committing crime. Then they can then see more clearly what are the good influences and the bad influences on them. It’s about taking control of their own lives and leading a life they can be proud of; And having healthy, loving, sexual relationships.

I hope that by bringing awareness we can bring changes to ensure that fewer young men will perpetrate these crimes in the future. I know I can only speak to a few boys, and many won’t be interested in what I have to say, but hopefully some will be saved from either becoming victims, or perpetrators, by hearing my story.

I asked Ella whether she thinks children in Sheffield, Rotherham, Rochdale and Oxford are still being abused.

Chillingly she told me "Unfortunately, kids are being abused in every part of the UK right now, as you are reading this. CSE is an epidemic. The stigma and shame is bad for all survivors so it can be difficult to talk about. Victims are all ages" she warns, "boys and girls, from all backgrounds. I've been to Swinton Lock in Rotherham for support, and they told me that they are still getting many new referrals of recent victims of CSE. Of course familial child sex abuse is a huge problem too ".

I asked Ella if more should be done in schools and for parents to eradicate the problem, she said "Barnardo's Grooming Line gives a good basic understanding of how grooming works. I think that once people heard about the problem, many people looked back, and they realised that some things they had witnessed had in fact been Child Sexual Exploitation. Education is an ongoing task, and the level of awareness now is much better than it was when I was young. People are learning that it isn’t the victim’s fault. I also think that a lot of Police forces are now definitely doing a better job tackling it. The government has also made CSE a Public Health priority, which I’m very happy about. Next we need a National Grooming Gang Prevention Plan.

I’d like to see more prevention programs provided for boys who are at risk of committing all sorts of crimes. This is because 95% of Sexual crimes, and most violent crimes, are committed by males. If the boys already know people in Gangs, drug dealers, live near grooming hotspots, or hold the same misogynistic beliefs, or racist beliefs about women and girls, we need to be talking to them before it’s too late".

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