How should we care for our aging population?

Yesterday I bumped into a man I worked with twenty five years ago. I’ll call him Ted. Though I couldn’t remember his name, I recognised him instantly. He had hardly changed from the man I knew a quarter of a century ago, a little greyer and a few more wrinkles but easily identified as the man I remembered to be outspoken, strong willed and opinionated. Apart from the colour of his hair and the extra lines there was one difference that I didn’t spot until I spoke to him. The vague lifeless look in his once sharp, alert eyes revealed the biggest change. He of course did not recognise me- I was a teenager when I last saw him. I introduced myself and reminded him of our work together. It was clear that Ted did not know who I was, but he seemed happy to talk; Happy to talk to anyone. He had, he told me retired at 65, three years ago. Since then he had moved into what he called an old peoples bungalow. He went on to say that he was the youngest man on the street and often never saw anybody for days. He missed the banter of work and missed the friendly cheek of the kids on his old estate. Occasionally, weather permitting in the evenings, he treats himself to a cigar, which he smokes outside his bungalow but sees no one passing by as the other residents of the street are unable or unwilling to venture outside.

That was when I realised the empty look in his eyes was loneliness. A man who led an active life, enjoying work for the social aspect as much as the moral belief that a man goes out to work and does his share, now beginning to crumble like the ancient building we worked in, decayed by lack of use.

As I bid him farewell, to go about my busy life, I couldn’t help but wonder if he had known he was giving up when he moved to his bungalow or if he had hoped to make a new life, new friends to face new challenges with. I wondered if he would have moved had he known. As I did the maths, working out how old he would have been when I worked with him, I felt utter sadness as I realised he would have been about my age now.

Is that what I have to look forward to? Is that what we all have to look forward to- Isolation, boredom, fear and loneliness? He was fortunate that he was still well enough and fit enough to get out for his weekly trip to the pub for a lunchtime drink, or two.  Others are of course less fortunate. The mind, if not used and stimulated will, sadly begin to grind to halt and seize up, like an unused machine.

It is wrong that one of the most developed and civilised countries in the world, allows its elderly to rot in solitude, gradually losing the will to continue until they are no longer able.

It is a fact that on average we are all living longer. It is a fact that many of us will have less money than in years gone by with no financial provision for our retirement. It is a fact that there are few affordable properties that are suitable for the elderly to live in. It is highly likely, that many of us will end up like Ted.

There are though, some organisations who want to change that likelihood. Organisations like Care and Repair, a not for profit home improvement organisation who are trying to create an environment where the elderly can live an independent life in a home which is healthy, safe and secure. Care and Repair are not the only people providing these services but we need many more. We have a moral obligation to help our aging population live out their final years in safety and security, with dignity and  in good health.

 So what should we look for to define healthy, safe and secure? Alarm bells and wardens are not enough. Single storey homes with ramps are not enough. Action groups organising events to provide sociability are not enough. We need all of these things and more. We need to provide a culture where old people can still contribute to their own life as well as others’.
It is unacceptable for men and women, many of whom have worked hard most of their lives, some of whom have fought wars, all of whom deserve to be treated like human beings no matter how old they are, to be stored like cattle in centres or care homes or on estates for elderly. To be healthy they need to be active. Some of them of course are unable to walk very far or are simply too weak to be physically active but there is no reason why their mind cannot still be stimulated. They need to have active brains and they need to feel useful. No one should feel like they are a burden and no one should feel alone. I’m not going to say it is the responsibility of government to provide the care Ted needs. Nor will say that charities or the lottery should take responsibility.
We all need to take responsibility, not just for the old but for ourselves. After all, we will all, if we are lucky be old one day.